YO!! Calling All Tough Enough Contestants
Posted by: Krazy Loop on 11/20/2004

Fans, over the past few weeks, Al Snow, known in professional wrestling as a half-way good guy, trotted out the latest crop of Tough Enough Contestants on Smackdown. Vince & Company finally learned, after much hard knocks schooling from internet wrestling fans, to ask and then give us what we like. That is the sole reason the fans can vote for a Tough Enough “winner.”

Rumor has it that the “prize” is a WW”e” contract worth $1 million. A million bucks? Oh, boy!! That sure sounds like it beats the hourly rate working at Honest Mohamed’s Party Store & Discount Gasoline Emporium, now doesn’t it? Rumor also has it that the failure to use enough Ole’ JR’s World Famous Extra Special Louisiana Tigers Tits & Ass Barbeque Sauce cost John Kerry the election. Unfortunately, there is about equal validity to both statements.

Remember, if you shake hands with the Devil you better count your fingers when you get your hand back. In English, that is the polite way of saying: “Don’t shake hands with the Devil.” In this case the “winner” stands a good chance of not coming back with an arm and a leg.

The problems is that the “contract” will contain the standard WW”e” garbage that entitles the WW”e” to terminate it at any time for no reason at all. The WW”e” never actually fires wrestlers because it can’t fire people who are not its employees. Nonetheless, it is difficult to call a piece of paper that allows the stronger party to so easily evade its obligations a contract. If that isn’t bad enough, the “winner” won’t actually get a lump sum check for $1 million upon signing.

The most serious problem is that the “contract” will also contain clauses that give the WW”e” ownership rights to damn near everything about the poor bastard’s entire existence, even after the “contract” is terminated.

In a perverse way the success stories of the Tough Enough Contests are the ones who lost. And as for the “winner?” Let’s hope he has sense enough to trot on down to his local legal aid society for some free advice BEFORE he signs. Even a first year law student will advise him not to sign such horseshit. If the “winner” has a brain he will pay attention, smarten up, and go back to school.

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