An Open Letter to Vince McMahon
Posted by: Krazy Loop on 01/06/2005

Dear Vince:

As you know better than the rest of us do, the WW”e” has fallen on hard times lately. Despite your valiant and best efforts to bring quality matches to the fans, attendance at your live events has dipped to an all time low and continues to drop ever lower. Your numbers are abysmal. Romancing the dead, Mae Young rising from the dead, 10,000 man cage elimination chamber 5 way dance matches, nothing you try to reverse the slide seems to do the trick. Sooner or later even the government is going to get wise to your BS 10K reports.

And if that isn’t bad enough, JBL is your champion.

Vince, let’s face facts: you, the man who once upon a time had balls bigger than Madison Square Garden, you, the man who sent Hulk Hogan to the top, you, the widely proclaimed “Genius of Professional Wrestling,” you---------are out of ideas.

Allow me to make a suggestion. Your problems are primarily due to dull matches and same old, same old, again and again. You no longer bring the fans what they want, no, what they DEMAND to see. Unlike the good old days your shows have nothing based in the truth of the moment anymore.

What you need is to set professional wrestling back on its natural gyroscopic track of REALITY not fantasy.

Vince, put your hands down the front of your pants. Feel around in there for few minutes. Do you still have a pair down there? After all the steroids you ate over the years, show the world that you still have what it takes. Despite the rumors which have persisted now for years, show the world that your gonads really are larger than the Big Show’s brain.

A golden opportunity cries out to you right under your nose.

For the upcoming Wrestlemania main event bring the fans the grudge match of the century. Use death match rules. Hardcore, any-core, anything and everything goes. No falls, no time limit. Loser does not leave the arena under their own power that night. Spare no expense and pay whatever it takes to get the mission accomplished. Re-mortgage your mansion, slash your dividend, put the Ho’ Train back on the street, take up a collection from your independent contractors, and personally spit-shine Teddy Long’s head if you have to.

Bring on the dirtiest, most disgusting, vile spectacle ever in the history of professional wrestling. Bring in two special guest referees and two special color commentators. Show the entire world why you and you alone are the one and only Vince McMahon. Bring on violence, passion, and love gone bad.

Vince, bring the fans Chyna v/s X-Pac . . . .

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