Commentary: Oh, Brother: Ted DiBiase & The Mattitude Followers
Posted by: Krazy Loop on 03/06/2005

Fans, this past week has been notable for what took place outside of the ring, not in it.

Ted DiBiase, he of “Praise The Lord & Pass The Collection Plate” fame, has decided to return to the den of inequity known in common parlance as the WW”e.” It seems that the self-styled “Man of God” was right all along: every man has a price, including him. We have to wonder how many pieces of silver the devil threw at him this time to sell the Lord and the path of righteousness down the river. We know wrestling tends to have ebbs and flows despite the fact that there is no off-season, but we thought religion was always in vogue. Exactly what went wrong? Or is this simply another plot to return the original sinner, one Shawn Michaels, to the ways of the Lord? Nawwww, that can’t be. The fact is Brother DiBiase sold out to the highest bidder like the hypocrite he is and always has been.

Oh, Brother . . . .


By now most of you know that “sources say” that Edge recently ran off to the rodeo with Lita. The trouble here is that someone forgot to tell Lita that she was supposed to be Matt Hardy’s girlfriend at the time, and Edge forgot that he should not shit where he eats. As if that wasn’t enough, those two forgot to tell Matt, Version Oblivious, what was going on. Not only did Matt mistakenly believe that Edge was one of his better “friends,” to top it all off, Lita lied to Matt about the matter. Scratch two former Mattitude Followers. It begs the issue, but from now on in minds of many of the fans, Edge and Lita will be forever remembered as two real MFer’s for pulling this stunt.

Shades of the Kink. No wait, Shades of X-PAC!!!!!!!!!!

This has been truly a damned sad turn of events as most people would agree. Ain’t love grand?

Matt, it isn’t our desire to rub battery acid in your wound, despite the fact that doing just that sounds delightful. Things like this happen to the best of us and there isn’t much that can be done about it. All that can be said at this point is that Lita was not your girlfriend and Edge was not your friend at the time. You don’t need friends like that. Neither Edge nor Lita gave a second thought to you when it counted. For as hard as it seems at the moment, put this behind you. Go on with your life and don’t waste another minute thinking about them. Write Edge and Lita off for good and do it now.

As for working with them in the future? Keep in mind that until your collective employment situation changes they also have to work with you.

You have a rare opportunity to show the world that unlike The Kink and X-Pac you have self-respect. Don’t follow their examples by crying like a broke dick dog over someone who isn't worth it. Do what they did and you become just another whiney crybaby.

With that having been said, keep your thoughts and business to yourself about this and other matters involving your personal life. You don’t owe the fans, your other co-workers, WW”e” management, or us, an explanation of what happened or how you feel about it.

Do not seek revenge. Simply ignore Edge and Lita for the rest of your time on the planet. Hold your head up and maintain your dignity. Get on with your life. Right now you hold the high road. Keep it that way and you will be the better man for it.

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