|
Oh, Brother...
Posted by:
Sean Carless on 05/21/2004
 According to an article over at 1wrestling.com, apparently written by Vince Russo, he admits that he recently found God.
In the article , he explains how he made his way to being "saved" and reveals his intentions to become a minister. Here's the snippet from the piece where he makes the shocking announcement:
"I don’t expect many to understand—but in time they will, I believe we all will. It took me 42 years to "get it", but the point is—I got it. And that’s why starting May 24th I'll be attending Denver Seminary School."
From there, he also speaks on those individuals he's had problems with and those whom have had problems with him. He claims he's a changed man thanks to his newfound faith in God.
One of those individuals that Russo had differences with was Bill Goldberg, and when recently reached for a comment on Russo's apparent embracing of Christ, Goldberg answered: "You do know I'm Jewish, right?.."
OK, I made that last part up.... sue me.
Anyway, obviously it's hard to imagine Vince Russo as a deeply religious man, and there is those who'll likely question the validity of his faith, but I'm not going to be one of those people. Instead I'm much more curious to imagine what a Vince Russo ran parish would actually be like....
So with that said, let's take a look a what the good church going folk might have to look forward to, under the leadership of "Reverend Vinnie Ru":
- Makes the women carrying around the collection plates wear bikinis and participate in the occasional "Baptism gown" match;
-Turns away Mexican and Japanese parishioners because no one would "buy" them as Christians anyway...
-During a sermon he'll insist that Jesus was crucified on a "symbol" and not a cross.
- Performs baptisms in pudding instead of water;
-Attempt to bring in more church goers by staging "Jesus: This is your life"
-When someone doesn't tithe, he'll point that person out and yell: "You'll never see that bald piece of shit again!"
-He'll refer to Judas' betrayal as a botched heel turn.
-Refers to the time Jesus "cut a promo" on the mount of olives.
-Confuses his congregation by insisting John 3:16 means "I just whipped your ass"
-In an attempt to hook young people, he'll create "hip" and "edgy" youth groups like "D-Nomination X" and nWo (new World orthadox)
-When reading from the book of Revelations, and speaking of Armageddon, he won't be able to resist the urge to yell "Live on Pay-per-view!"
-And finally, throws down his collar in a SWERVE and yells that it was all a ruse!.... before ultimately going back to God three weeks later with no explanation given...
Ah, I kid Vince Russo, really I do.
So in closing, remember, there's a lot worse things in wrestling than being touched by the hand of God, like say, being touched by the hand of Rob Feinstein.....
It's OK, I'm saved, I can say these things.
Sean; | 
